Last year, I facilitated a workshop with a leadership team where we explored different communication styles. The focus was not on boxing people into categories, but on helping each person recognise their natural tendencies, especially under stress, and learning how to dial up or dial down their approach to stay in a Partner State. Partner State is a mindset where we are grounded, curious, and collaborative, rather than reactive or defensive.
After the workshop, they made a decision that is not uncommon. They designed posters that represented each of the four styles and hung them on the walls of their workspace. I remember feeling flattered, but also a little sceptical. Many organisations have wall posters about values or behaviours that quickly fade into the background. They become wallpaper. A nice idea, but not a living one.
Recently, when I returned, I saw something very different.
The posters were being used almost every day.
They had become part of the shared language of the team.
They had changed how people communicated.
They’d even changed how teams were set up and supported.
It was a powerful reminder that it is not the framework or the artefact that matters.
It is the willingness to apply the learning that makes the difference.
The Four Communication Styles
The framework we used was based around four recognisable behavioural tendencies (from jungian psychology) represented by Australian birds as a simple and memorable metaphor:
The Wedge-Tailed Eagle: direct, decisive, focused on outcomes.
The Rainbow Lorikeet: energetic, expressive, people-oriented.
The Emu: calm, steady, relationship-focused.
The Masked Owl: thoughtful, precise, detail-oriented.
None of these styles is “better” than another. Each has strengths when operating from a grounded place, and each has shadow behaviours when under pressure.
For example:
The Eagle’s clarity can become control.
The Lorikeet’s enthusiasm can become distraction.
The Emu’s calm can become avoidance.
The Owl’s rigour can become rigidity.
The purpose of identifying your style is not to label yourself, but to increase your range. When we notice our default tendencies, we create space to choose how we respond, rather than being driven by habit or stress.
Why This Matters for Teams
Communication is where most tension, confusion and frustration emerges in a workplace.
It is rarely about competence. It is almost always about interpretation.
We may think someone is being blunt, when they think they are being clear.
We could think someone is avoiding responsibility, when they think they are being respectful.
We might think someone is over-analysing, when they think they are being thorough.
We may think someone is too emotional, when they think they are being relational.
We may limit our ability to innovate, because we’re only giving a voice to the loud and social members of a team, whereas the analytical and thoughtful can add just as much value.
Understanding communication styles gives teams a common language.
It creates a way to talk about behaviour without blame or judgement.
For this business, the posters became a gentle daily nudge to:
Notice your state.
Notice their style.
Choose the approach that builds partnership.
Many other team’s I’ve worked with, have continued the practice without the visual nudge - that’s the power of a memorable metaphor.
Either way, this is the real work of leadership.
Not the big moments, but the micro-adjustments that build trust over time.
Anchoring to the Partner State.
At the heart of this is Partner State. Partner State asks:
Can I stay grounded when emotions rise?
Can I stay curious when I want to defend?
Can I respect that others see and feel differently to me?
Can I widen my response rather than narrow it?
When we are in Partner State, we are better leaders, better teammates, and better humans.
Communication styles are not the answer in themselves.
They are simply a doorway into self-awareness and alternative choices.
Putting This Into Practice
Here are a few ways to bring this learning to life in your team:
Talk about your styles openly.
Share what you value, what triggers you, and what helps you stay grounded.Agree on signals.
A simple cue like “Can we slow down a little?” can reset the tone of a conversation.Normalise adjustment.
The goal is not to be the same. The goal is to be in a conscious relationship with one another.Return to Partner State regularly.
It is not about always being calm. It is about noticing when you have left, and finding your way back.
Final Thought
Insight alone does not create change. Application does. The real value of the styles in this business did not come from the posters. It came from the choice to live the learning.
This is when culture truly shifts.
Want to learn more about improving your communication skills? Download our guide to Navigating Difficult Conversations Here.